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For most adults, the death of a loved one is difficult enough, but having to tackle explaining death to a child can be even more distressing.
Grandparents, parents, siblings, friends, and even pets might all be difficult deaths for a young child to comprehend.
As a parent, you must play an active role in explaining death to a child so they will be better equipped to deal with it in a healthy manner.
Being Honest Matters Most
When it comes to explaining death to a child honesty is crucial. Children are able to recognize the indications and detect the distinctions between their own lives and those of others, which allows them to recognize the loss of someone.
Even if they can’t comprehend death, children understand its effect. Explain what death is, what happens, and where you stand on the matter with your young one.
Children as young as 4 years old can figure out that someone has left them, although they may not comprehend where the individual has gone or why they had to leave.
Explain It’s Not Their Fault
One of the most essential messages to convey when explaining death to a child is that it was not their fault.
Children of any age may believe that if someone left them (in any form) they may have been the cause.
Make it clear to your child that their loved one’s death is out of their hands and that it is a natural part of the life cycle.
Age to Discuss Death
When explaining death to a child it’s important to note that children ages 4 and up and sometimes younger can comprehend death to some extent.
You can talk about why the person died with young kids in a way that makes sense to them.
If for example, their grandparent has died as a result of a heart attack, telling them that their grandparent’s heart stopped working correctly might provide some comfort and clarity to them rather than just saying it’s a normal part of life.
When discussing death, it’s usually a good idea to tell younger kids that they still have a long life ahead of them and that they shouldn’t worry too much.
When someone close to them passes, children may start to wonder if they or even you are going to die soon as well. It’s always best to ensure them that everything will be okay.
The book Something Very Sad Happened does a beautiful job of explaining this concept to kids, especially toddlers. It’s a great resource every parent or family should own.
Religious Beliefs
Many religious parents can incorporate their beliefs when explaining death to a child if they find it easier to explain.
Some religions believe that when a person dies, they will go to heaven or a transcendent world and be reunited with other family members who have also died.
In this situation, you might tell your child that their loved one has left this world but that they have entered a new one where they will be waiting to be united with the rest of their family at a later time in life.
This can help them understand that death is not a terrible thing. It will also offer them peace of mind by alleviating their worries and knowing that death is not something to be feared.
Other Beliefs
Even if you don’t believe in any religion, when explaining death to a child telling your kids that this person is no longer in pain or suffering can really help them.
Frequently, this will soothe them by assuring them that death is not a negative thing but rather a normal part of life.
Allow Them to Ask Questions
Perhaps the most crucial component for parents to assist their children in dealing with the loss of a loved one is to allow them to ask questions.
When explaining death to a child, give them time to reflect on the situation. Children, for example, may require time to comprehend what death means after losing a loved one.
They may ask you questions about what occurred and why it happened several days or weeks later.
Listen More and Speak Less
Don’t push your child to ask questions if they aren’t ready, but instead urge them to do so when they are.
When explaining death to a child they might inquire about things like whether their loved one will return or if they are in any pain.
When asked, be sure to find alone time for just you and your child. Rather than speaking, listen more intently to what they are asking.
You may also consider bringing in another parent, grandparent, or relative who can assist you in guiding your child through their feelings.
Let Your Child Express Themselves
When explaining death to a child it is best to allow your child to verbalize their feelings and sentiments, even if they must cry.
Emotions including sadness and anger are part of the 5 stages of grief, and it’s important for your child to feel these to help them move on.
Let them know it’s okay to cry and show their feelings. If they want to talk, encourage them to do so.
Seek Additional Counseling
If several months or years pass after a loved one’s death and there are indications that your child is still not coping well, seeking counseling may be required.
Dealing with death affects everyone in different ways. When explaining death to a child younger children may not know how to express themselves fully, so it’s best to take things slow.
Pretending it doesn’t exist or not speaking about it completely may cause more harm than good.
The only way to truly move forward is to let your child fully accept that it has happened and to know that they will be okay with time.
